Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Anamchara - The Soul Friend

"When I came to Troas to proclaim the good news of Christ, a door was opened for me in the Lord; but my mind could not rest because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I said farewell to them and went on to Macedonia." - St. Paul, II Corinthians 2:12-13, NRSV.

For years I made the mistake of viewing Paul as a sort of Lone Ranger Evangelist who would go forth on his own, boldly and unapologetically proclaiming the Gospel to anyone he met, maintaining his own self-sufficiency even in prison, and simply breaking fellowship with anyone who had the guts to disagree with him (i.e. Peter, Barnabas). I hereby repent of this biblical error.

One need only to look at Romans 16 to see the incredible list of individuals on whom Paul relied for support, encouragement, and assistance in his ministry. Following Jesus' example of sending his disciples out "two by two," Paul always had a traveling companion during his missionary journeys, such as Barnabas, Silas, Titus, or Luke. Certainly the passion of his life was the proclamation of the Gospel, and he was very "task-oriented" in that; yet one cannot deny that for Paul, nurturing meaningful and proactive relationships with others, especially at a deep spiritual level, was a necessary component of his gospel ministry.

Just look at the above quote from II Corinthians: Paul had a Divine opportunity to preach the gospel in one of the biggest ports in the Roman Empire, where there were tradesmen and sailors from all over the known world. Yet in spite of this great opportunity to evangelize, Paul left them and went on, because somehow he got separated from his buddy Titus and had no peace of mind. Paul was close with Titus - he defended Titus against the circumcision party, he clearly trusted Titus enough to send him as a reconciler in the Corinthian debacle, and he traveled with Titus as well. Paul's friendship with Titus was close enough that, when separated from him, Paul did not have peace of mind about preaching the gospel.

In an age where "global communications" has made it possible to connect with anyone, anytime, anywhere, we are witnessing simultaneously the breakdown of meaningful relationships fueled by the narcissistic individualism which is the logical result of modernity. Many adults find it simply impractical or unnecessary to maintain deep, lasting friendships that can empower us on our journey through life. Friendships that do exist are often very superficial, not concerned with anything beneath the surface issues of life, certainly avoiding the deep emotional and spiritual struggles which all humans experience.

The Celtic Christians had a word for the type of friendship that Paul experienced and that we moderns avoid: Anamchara. It comes from two Gaelic words that mean "soul friend." Interestingly, this was not just a social convention; it was a religious practice. The Celtic saints believed that because we are sinners who can often deceive ourselves, true holiness can only be pursued in the context of a relationship with a trusted friend who is willing to hold us accountable in the deepest levels of our spiritual journey. I believe this is a profoundly necessary practice, especially when we realize that God is as concerned with our internal motivations, emotions, and thoughts as He is with our external behaviors.

I'm sure that all of us can recall times in our spiritual journey when we lacked the kind of loving accountability from a friend with whom we are totally authentic, and who is willing not only to affirm but also to challenge and confront us. When that kind of friendship was absent, I'll bet that we've all tended to fall into rationalizations, attitudes and behaviors that were not consistent with the high call of Christian discipleship.

I have been blessed in my journey to have such friendships: my college roommate Chad Geaslen, my seminary roommate Jeff "The Punk" Vanderhoff, friends and mentors Bob Morris and Ray and Gail Keffer. All of these individuals contributed to my spiritual growth and development by mutual sharing of heart and mind, so that I could be drawn out of myself and into the world of God and others. I thank God for all of them.

My prayer is that as ministers of the Gospel we are able to repent of the "Lone Ranger" mentality that so often plagues the professional clergy, in order that we can show real solidarity and support of each other as we shepherd God's people. It may not seem like the most "practical" thing to do. But then again, in a culture that places such a high value on superficiality, perhaps living the Anamchara is just the sort of counter-cultural act in which we Christians should be engaging.

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