The other day I had one of those deep theological conversations with one of my best friends. Even though he and I don't see each other as much as we'd like, the conversation immediately went past the superficial niceties of polite chit-chat, and we just shared our hearts and our thoughts about the deeper stuff of life. It was a blessed time and I'm grateful for it.
One thing became apparent during our talk: both of us struggle with doubt. This is not to say that we're "closet atheists" or anything like that. We're both devoted disciples of Jesus Christ. It's just that the profound questions don't go away, and we're not completely satisfied with the simplistic answers that we often get from others within the Christian fold.
Paul Tillich once wrote, "Doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith." Looking at Scripture, I suppose I'll have to agree. John the Baptist, Jesus' mother Mary, Job, and the writer of Ecclesiastes all went through periods when their minds and hearts were plagued with doubt, although they wanted very much to believe. This sentiment is kind of crystalized in the one sentence spoken by the father of a demon-possessed boy: "I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)
Yes, there are many times when I ask those deeper questions and my heart is unsettled with the answers. I have faith but not certainty. Call it a "Dark Night of the Soul." Call it a "Crisis of Faith." Call it whatever the hell you like. But I don't think I'm off the mark in saying that it is a reality that every human being faces, including the men and women in the pulpits.
Yet we are so conditioned in the church to preach "certainty." Modernity, with its emphasis on objective truth and inerrant reason, has trained us to give people answers...rather than affirming and honoring questions.
I don't claim to know the purposes of God. But Scripture does seem to indicate that when individuals go through bad times in their lives, God uses those times in positive ways in the lives of other people. I think of Joseph's words to his brothers after they recognized him as the Pharoah's steward: "What you meant for evil, God meant for good."
Job went through the doubt of suffering, but it is now a testimony for all of those who suffer that God may have a greater purpose in suffering.
Jesus went through the doubt of Gethsemane, perhaps even questioning God's plan for Him, but it led to salvation for the human race.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer went through doubt while in a concentration camp and was ultimately executed: yet his life and martyrdom are modern prophetic witnesses against evil, against injustice, and against a Church that is more interested in compromising with the world than in redeeming it.
So when we go through these periods of doubt....maybe the best thing to do is share it with others. Instead of maintaining the facade of absolute certainty (which we do more to impress our congregations than to truly glorify God), let's admit that even we need help with our unbelief. Is it possible that our authenticity, and our willingness to work through peoples' questions, might be more meaningful and helpful than the "pat answers" that they have come to expect from us?
Of course, we can hope for certainty. But we will never have it this side of heaven, when "in our flesh we will see God." How my heart yearns within me!
Monday, January 14, 2008
Help My Unbelief!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Apparently there's no one out there to help your unbelief! In your post, you say that (1) we have to pretend to have 'certainty' and know all the answers, and you also say that (2) we may be better served by NOT giving 'pat' answers to real questions. Perhaps that explains why no one is responding - either no one knows but can't admit that (scenario 1), or the answer is a pat response and you've cautioned against that (scenario 2). I'll admit that I struggle with doubt sometimes, and wrestle with the question of 'why?' at times. Still don't have an answer, but trying to be faithful anyway!
"Now we know in part, but then we shall know fully, even as we are fully known." - I Corinthians 13:?
Thanks for being vulnerable enough to write this post, Jeff.
Like Tillich, I have come to believe that doubt is not the antithesis of faith. Indifference is.
In fact, I am not certain that faith can be something holistic if it does not accommodate what I like to call redemptive doubt--a doubting that is an honest questioning emerging from a desire to know more fully and more deeply.
For me, the key is to prevent my doubt from degenerating into cynicism, which is something far different. Doubt is an honest wrestling with God. Cynicism is a refusal to enter into the struggle. Doubt is a desire to know things more completely. Cynicism is the foolhardy believe that one knows all the answers before one even explores the questions. Doubt permits an open heart, while cynicism often comes from a heart that has already been hardened.
It sounds to me like you are on the right track with this whole doubt management thing. Sharing the doubt with trusted friends; acknowledging that we are operating out of deep conviction rather than arrogant and simplistic certainty; and saturating the whole experience with spiritual disciplines like prayer and meditation on Scripture--all of this, it seems to me, is part of keeping doubt redemptive. And it sounds like what you are doing these days.
Eric,
As always, you offer thoughtful reflections. I agree with you that indifference (i. e. lukewarmness), not honest doubt, is the true enemy of faith.
I also liked your response that part of the process of redeeming doubt is to be "saturated with spiritual disciplines" - in other words, to seek God even in the midst of doubt.
It reminds me of the words at the end of C. S. Lewis' novel, "Till We Have Faces" :
"I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?"
Post a Comment