Those words, immortalized by Jerry Stiller (a.k.a. Frank Costanza) in one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, are words that I've been saying quite a bit lately, and this coming week I'm hoping finally to enjoy their full meaning. I'm taking a full week off just to relax and unwind, and I have to say it is much needed.
Not to say that I'm suffering from the so-called "burn-out." At least, I don't think I am. But I am beginning to realize how much of my spiritual life revolves around my work in the church, and how little of it revolves around acknowledging my identity as a beloved child of God. It has been a sobering thought for me to dwell on lately. How much do I truly depend on my "successes" in ministry to feel spiritual? How much do I see the praise of the congregation as the justification for what I am doing...rather than simply being who God has made me to be and living that identity in honor of Him, regardless of what people think or how they respond?
Roman Catholic philosopher Josef Pieper wrote a great little book that has been helpful to me: "Leisure: The Basis of Culture." He argues that we live in a "work-a-day world" where everything is measured by its practicality and usefulness, and in such a world, there is little value placed on disciplines like contemplation, celebration, and communion. We see little point in simply being still and pondering the truths of God and the world, and as a result, we are like worker bees in a hive, whose entire value is wrapped up in their ability to produce.
I think of this and then I look at my ministry. Do I at times read the Bible only for its practical value of finding good material for sermons and lessons...or do I truly make time to let Scripture preach to my own heart and mind, regardless of whether it will immediately benefit my ministry? Do I say "yes" to every request for my time and energy because it is easier than dealing with possibly offending someone, or am I bold enough to draw a boundary and acknowledge my own need for Sabbath rest? Do I spend so much time encouraging my youth in the Lord that I fail to encourage myself as well?
My answers to the above questions often depend on the day that I'm asking them of myself. But they're definitely real questions that I struggle with. So I praise God that He has afforded me an opportunity to rest in His presence next week, to take the responsibilities of ministry off my shoulders. My prayer is that this week will ultimately make me a better husband, friend, and minister of the Gospel. But even that is using the vacation as merely a means to an end. Really, my prayer is just that I can enjoy some quality time with God and realize that it's enough.
Serenity now!
8 comments:
Jeff, I've always found it hard to really be able to "release" ministry on vacation - I'll be in prayer for you as you seek a renewal of peace and rest. Blessings!
Chris...
You're preaching to the choir. I will definitely have to resist the temptation to go over to the church next week!
What you are saying is a big problem in the ministry. We pastors have been wired for action. It's not just our culture...it is the nature of our work.
We over do it because we don't want to let a single opportunity to minister to someone go by. Every moment is an opportunity for an encounter that may change someone's life. So we keep moving from one thing to the next because we feel our absence or unwillingness to do something says something about our faithfulness.
Since I have left parish ministry...I see that the church I once served is doing just fine without me. The power of God can move in our communities without our action or approval. As a pastor, I forgot that and felt I had to do it all and be all things to all people...in the end I crashed and burned.
So, good post and have a great spiritual health week. You desrve it!
Good points, Randy. I'm reminded all the time that God doesn't always need me to do everything! Sometimes I'm more of a hindrance than a help to Him!
You are not alone brother. It is always a balance. I recently studied pride in more depth, I found I tend to be more prideful then I realized, but also that it can simply mean when we take credit for anything that God rightly deserves.
I get excited when I have positive feedback from the congregation I am serving. I like hearing that is a good ministry idea, but the balance is giving it all back to God.
I am so thankful that God has placed me at Bridgewater and I struggle daily with devotions.
Balance is my word for today. Maybe my life since I have been noted as being an extremist at times; OK all the time :-)
I want to revel in word of God, I want to bask in the light of His love. I want to spend hours every day getting to know God better. It is a balance because I also want to do, to act in the world, to be with my family, to spend quality time, and to minister where ever God has put me that day.
Maybe I am rambling, but balance is the key and you have touched on an important aspect. I used to think balance between Mary and Martha, but I wonder if the Martha aspect of doing will just flow naturally when I better learn to be a Mary, be a follower of God, revel in Him, and keep Jesus as my personal focus and thus everything else will start to be better centered accordingly.
Thank you for the thought provoking insight. God bless.
For years I wrestled with this issue because of Mark 6, when Jesus and His disciples got so overwhelmed with ministering to people that they didn't even have time to eat. Jesus told them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." -Mk. 6:31. Immediately after he said this and they went away, however, the crowds followed. Did Jesus rest? No! He had compassion on them and began teaching them many things, and later went on to feed them all miraculously. Because of these verses, I thought that I had to meet everyone else's needs, regardless of how tired and burnt out I was getting. It's Biblical, after all! What I believe God finally showed me, however, is a truth that I need to remind myself of a little too often - I'm not Jesus. Jesus ministered to the crowds, regardless of His own needs, but Jesus can do a lot of things that we can't. I believe the disciples listened to what Jesus told them to do - they rested while He continued to minister. Then, after they had rested, they were able to help Him feed the 5,000. Sometimes we need to say, "I'm not Jesus," and take a rest and trust that He will continue to minister to the needs of others in our absence, and once we've rested, we'll be better prepared to minister again. Say it with me - "I'm not Jesus!"
Wow...nail on the head. I'm prayin for ya dude.
Great post!
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